Moving Home after Graduation: Making it Work

The last thing I wanted to think about when I graduated was where I would have to move. I had no choice--I had to move home. With no job lined up and no plans on where I wanted to settle, it was the easy fix and gave me time to get my head together.

But moving home if you've spent four years away at college is never easy. (And it's not any easier after you still live at home after during so while completing your degree.) Boomerangers know that it's different moving home after college, even if you've spent summers there for the past four-plus years. There's something else there; whether it's your lack of a bedroom because it's now a sitting room or storage closet, or whether there's an underlying tone that you don't belong there anymore.

Here are some tips to keep in mind if you're planning to move home:

It's your parents' house. Even if you're used to staying out at all hours of the night on campus, you've got to keep a sense of respect when you move home. One way to do that is to respect your parents' rules. Some parents treat boomerangers as adults and let them come and go as they please; others set a curfew. Whatever your parents wish, try to work with them to set reasonable rules and stick to them. You'll be able to have free reign again when you move out.

Communicate. Things may be uncomfortable when you move home. If you're job hunting, your parents may have different expectations of how you should do it, or how long it will take to find a job. Your goal is to keep the peace and communicate with them in a non-defensive way. In addition to respecting their rules and working with them if they're open to letting you set them, you should talk to them about what your plans are. You'll also need to discuss what you're expected to do to contribute around the house, and if your parents want you to pay rent. Some students who are close to their families loved moving home because they were able to help out with the bills and were grateful for their parents' hard work taking care of them over the years. It varies per person.

Plan to move out. You don't have to start looking at apartments, but it's always good to have a targeted move-out time in your head. Do you want to stay for a year to adapt to your job? Do you want to move out ASAP? If you're miserable at home, a target date will remind you it's only temporary; if you have an awesome relationship with your parents, it's still a good idea to plan your next move (even if it's off to grad school!) You can't live at home forever, so think of your ideal situation. (Hint: If your parents rock, consider moving nearby. You'll have your own independenace but still have access to shopping in mom's pantry.)

It'll hit you. There is nothing wrong with moving home after college, but everyone I've spoken to that had to move home soon after realized that they didn't feel like it was their home anymore. Your parents will likely reassure you that their door is always open, but you may find yourself wanting to carve out your own niche. You may not want to talk to your parents about how you're feeling, which is likely exciting and scared at the same time. That's okay; take advantage of the benefits of living home (saving money) and plan and approrpiate move-out time if you think that's what you want to do. You may want to get settled into your job first.

Save, save, save. One of the biggest advantages to moving home is being able to save. While your other friends are dumping all of their newly earned money into expensive apartments, you'll be able to pay mom and dad a fraction of the cost (if you have to pay rent) and save. Try to be frugal. By the time you're ready to move out, you'll have more than enough for the deposit, which will make things much less stressful.

It's always hard for me to give advice on this topic because your time back at home is dependent on your relationship with your parents and your career goals. Some people do fine moving home for a few years before venturing out solo. Some don't have great ties with their families and want to sleep in the garage. Whatever you choose, be respectful and remember that you're in control of your future--just be practical about it.

Are you moving home after you graduate? Why or why not? Have you already done this? What was the outcome?