Q: "So I moved to a city where I don't know a lot of people. I'm currently job searching, but I'd also like to find friends. I'm a female, so I don't feel comfortable going out alone. How do I meet people my age?" --iamcassandra
A: This is such a common issue for new grads. And actually, any adult. It's so easy to meet friends on campus, but after college many people neglect to fill up their social circles.
I think the key thing here is that you moved to a city--and with that comes lots of people and tons of opportunities to network. That can yield professional perks and new pals, so I think going to a networking event would be a win-win for you.
Check newspapers and local websites to find networking events, or to see if there any "young professional" organizations in the area. You may have to head to the event solo but there will be other people so you won't have all that one-on-one pressure. If you're worried about flying solo, try to go and return home during daylight. You may also want to try bringing a colleague from work to the event.
And if you don't have too many allies at work, try checking out what your company has to offer. Even a seminar on the corporate healthcare policy may be a good chance to meet a new pal at work.
Outside of work, it's a great idea to consider your hobbies and try to meet others through that. Can you find a photography club or a knitting group, for example? I've found http://www.meetup.com to be pretty successful. Again, you may have to go to the event alone but if you choose something that feels right (and scope out the locale beforehand), you'll likely feel more comfortable.
All the best--this is hard and scary but definitely necessary to make the connections that we all need when going through our lives!
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7 comments:
Thanks! I appreciate the advice and will definitely put it to good use!
From where I'm sitting, having struggled through this very problem, it seems the best way to meet people (friends, business contacts, dating prospects) is to have a job. As post-education adults, we meet most of the people in our life through our jobs. Directly or through introductions, that's where people come from.
Unfortunately, finding a job can be its own Herculean Labour.
Aside from this, try going out to networking events and meetups for your industry. Meet people and be friendly. If you drop the pretense that this person will somehow offer you a job or make you loads of money, you'll be surprised how cool some folks are. Keep in touch with them via email, and eventually you'll share a meal/coffee and maybe become friends.
Be outgoing! This is tough for some people (like me), especially when interaction isn't "forced" as it is at work or in a classroom setting. You have to throw yourself into awkward situations, no matter how much your instincts will tell you to go home and play video games.
And if that doesn't work, get with someone who is outgoing (and has no shame) and let him/her introduce you to people. Buy that guy a drink and the investment will be worth it.
I also found it helpful to keep an open mind about things that you have no understanding of. I think just being genuinely open and eager to listen will reap many benefits.
Dear Kristen,
Love the blog!
I recently wrote on how to make friends and thought you might be interested.
I especially liked your recent article on student loans.
Some good ideas :)
Hi Kristen, great piece though a few years old, still relevant. I recently wrote a article you might enjoy:
http://collegetimes.us/5-great-ways-to-make-friends-after-college/
Thank you, Kelly
Sorry here is the link again...
http://collegetimes.us/5-great-ways-to-make-friends-after-college/
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